Sofia

"Sofia,please eat your food" mama is trying to persuade me to eat,since I've been discharge. I've not eat anything since and it been one week.

"Please omo mi eat ,if not for me for your baby"mama begged.

When the doctor declared that Yusuf is dead ,I went in to shocked state ,before I was retrieve by Allah's grace. But till now my brain couldn't comprehend it. Is it true or not. I'm still confused.

"Mama, is that how people die" I asked .

"Mama,but ....he ...promised that he will never leave me,he will always be by my side, he said.." My voice broke with tears. I was sobbing mess now.

"Mama,but..."mama cut me to it.

"I understand Darling but trust and have faith in Allah" I hugged her ,needed a shoulder for comfort." Mama he left me,he left me" I sobbed while shaking.

"Mama,I can't do anything without him,he's like oxygen I breath in maa" I said ,mama patted my back soothing and comforting me.

"Baby,your baby is crying" mama said bringing the little boy to me.

Since I've given birth to him ,I've not look at him in eyes ,afraid of the accusation in it. I've not carry him too ,afraid of him falling down from my hands. I failed him as a mother".

"Dearie ,just look at him,he's your son". Mama said suggestively,encouraging me.

"Mama,he will fall from me,I can't carry him,he will..." I started blabbing and crying.

"I can't"I shook my head vigorously. "I can't, he will fall" I said.

"Murderer killer" I heard the voice,the voice is back taunting me.

"He will fall mama,I will kill him" I said breathing heavily, shaking my head.

"Mama,he will die if I carry him ,I'm a murderer, Zaid was right – I'm the one that killed Yusuf too. If I've not told him to bring you that day,he will have been here with me mama" the panic and terror set in.

In out

In out

My breathing changed to normal,I exhaled and inhaled loudly.

I stood ,pushed mama gently away from me.

"Where are you going" mama asked. "Yusuf was here mama,he told me to breath,I breathed and the panic went .I want to follow him ,he said I should follow him" I replied happily, beaming with happiness and walking through the door. "No" mama said and shook her head. "He's dead,he was not here" mama told me ,looking at me with pity and concern.

"No mama,just wait here for me let's me follow him." I said trying to catch up with Yusuf.

I heard mama calling me but I'm too engrossed in following yusuf to where he's taking me.

I followed him till we arrived at a cliff ,"yusuf wait up" I shouted behind me.

"Do you love me?" He asked.

"Then let's jump together and follow me" he said trying to jump.

"We should jump but..."

"You love me?,why can't you jump,but you were the caused why I'm like this" he said taunting me.

"I'm sorry ,let's jump; hold my hand" he said holding my hand.

As I wanted to jump with Yusuf ,I was hold back by someone, I looked back and saw my first love "Abdulrahman", hold me and shook is head no.

"Yusuf" ,I shouted.

"Yusuf was here and he said I should jump but ...." I said dumbfounded.

"It was your brain tricking you" he said.

He hugged me and carried me bridal style to his car.