Chapter 370: You don't have to always make a choice

Nana looked at her in surprise.

Mu Shuchun wished to bite her tongue.

What was I thinking?

“No.,” she heard Nana say.

Mu Shuchun stiffened. The light in her eyes slightly dimmed.

“I never thought of aborting my child, not even in my dreams.”

There was a beat of silence.

She slowly asked, “W-why? You were only twenty-two at that time. You carried the child of a man who was already married. That in itself was so frightening. It would be so complicated to raise an ill- I mean… people would have scorned you and your child. Your life would have been much worse.”

Nana said nothing for a moment. She lowered her head to look at Jian, who was peacefully sucking his milk. Her gaze turned clouded as if she was lost in a distant memory.

“Do you know what was the first thought that came in my mind when I learned that I was pregnant?”

Mu Shuchun waited for her to speak.

“Will my child also not get a complete family like how I never got?”

Mu Shuchun stared at her in shock.

Nana looked back at her. “I think you must have heard what happened in my childhood.”

She slowly nodded. She heard of it when she returned to Beijing and came to know that Nana was Shin’s sister.

“Since I was ten years old, I had no parents. I used to envy other children for having a mother and father. They laughed so happily with their parents. Sometimes I would question God that why was I born with such a fate? So when I realized that I was pregnant, I wondered if my child will have the same fate too? I didn’t want him to suffer like me. You are right. Jinhai was married. I couldn’t see any light ahead. How will my child get the father’s love that he deserves? I didn’t want to force him to divorce Huian and marry me.”

Nana faintly smiled. “I was worried about his happiness right from the start. I was worried about his future. I was already invested in his birth. The thought of abortion…simply didn’t strike me. It was just natural to think I would give birth to my baby.”

My Shuchun paused. “But you were lucky that Liu Jinhai decided to support you. You became Mrs. Liu. Whether it be money or a title or his love, you got it all. So your child’s future was also secured. But what if…he hadn’t done all this? What if he had refused to take responsibility?”

Nana blinked her eyes. “I would have given birth anyway. I would have single-handedly raised him. Yes, there were problems. Life would be difficult. It would be a struggle. But it wasn’t impossible. I would have figured out some way. There is always a way. It wasn’t the child’s fault who was growing in my belly. How could I kill him for something he didn’t do?”

Not the child’s fault…

Mu Shuchun felt as if a dagger pierced her heart.

“But there was also your career. Didn’t you think that your child could be a hindrance to your career?”

“A child is never a hindrance for a mother. My career is important to me, but not to the point that I kill my baby because of it. Even if giving birth may have affected my career, in the beginning, I would have worked hard to bounce back. I am not a narcissist, but I cook decent food. I am sure of my capabilities. I know I would have gotten one opportunity sooner or later. People are always looking for talented and hard-working individuals. So, a career is something that you can make again. Money is something you can earn again. But once the child is gone, it is never going to come back.”

Mu Shuchun trembled. Nana’s words deeply impacted her. She clenched her dress.

“Oh…actually there is my friend, my co-worker who is a model too. She…got pregnant when she was 21. Modeling looks glamorous, but it is also a harsh industry. There is no place for women who have got pregnant with an illegitimate child. It just kills all their prospects. So, to safeguard her career, she aborted the child. Was she wrong?”

Silence.

Nana carefully observed her. Somehow, Nana strongly felt that she was talking about herself.

So she a past of her own…

Now she understood why she was asking her such questions.

“I am not anybody to judge anyone’s decision because situations are different. But did she really think it through?”

“What do you mean?” Mu Shuchun frowned.

“I just said that people are always looking for talented and hard-working individuals. Even if the modeling industry might be harsh, did she think that there would be absolutely no one who would judge her for her performance and purely skills, not her past? Did she try to look for such people to work with who would understand and support her?”

Silence. Mu Shuchun’s complexion paled.

I never did actually…

“People are hungry for talent, so at one point, if you can meet their expectations, then they don’t really mind your past. This is, I feel, applies to any field. There are all kinds of people in every industry, who may reject you ‘because’ of your past or who may accept you ‘with’ your past as well. And if they are that shallow to hamper your career because of your pregnancy, if they sneer or mock your child, then they are really not the right people to work with.”

Mu Shuchun couldn’t retort because every word struck her as right. She realized that she really took a brash decision without thinking it through.

I just assumed that I would have no place…But I didn’t really…

Nana continued. “I feel that if she had given birth and persisted with her career too despite the difficulties, she would have been a source of inspiration for so many young women who might have gone through or are still going through the same phase as her. She would have given a strong message that it isn’t something shameful and embarrassing to give birth. You can be a mother and a career woman at the same time.”

Nana smiled. “You don’t always have to make a choice between them. You don’t always have to sacrifice one thing to become another.”