Xiao Song confessed that I am the legitimate son of Xiao family, ranking ninth in the family.

As far as I can remember, I followed my wise grandmother and watched the wonderful "performances" in the house, which were exposed to the ugliness of people's hearts either because of greed or for survival.

Most of my childhood, what I saw and heard was so ugly and dirty that I wanted to break free and escape, so I was rebellious in my youth.

Perhaps it is because I have seen too much of the terrible side of women that I have been in contact with women from the bottom of my heart.

I remember, once I found out that my father's concubine's room had an affair with a steward. Liu Qingsong and I bet, he said that if you give these two people a secret contact space, the concubine will not be able to defend her body. I don't believe it. After all, Xiao's family rules are strict, and my father is also a very dignified person. Even if the concubine loves others again, she should not dare to come out of the wall.

However, when I set up a bureau, these two people unknowingly jumped into it, and actually, as Liu Qingsong said, I saw a living spring palace with my own eyes.

Later, my father found out about it. He killed the concubine in a rage and dragged me to the ancestral hall.

I hate him, actually because of a cheap maid to his own son!

But the more pain, the more clear my mind, so I laugh at him: you do not have the ability to watch your own woman's heart, become a bastard, so you become angry with me? Do you think you can get back face in this way!

He was so angry that he almost betrayed his anger, and his subordinates were even more merciless.

He has been honest all his life, but in this matter, I look down on him.

Because of this, the father son relationship between us has become so rigid that it is incompatible with each other.

At that time, he was also a young man. He hated him for starting me because of his concubine, and despised him for covering up his shame and annoyance with this method. Therefore, he was still bedridden with injuries, and he was often fuming with anger.

Finally, he was furious, and before I was healed, he threw me to the battlefield as a soldier.

I know that he is that impulsive and irascible temper, so doing is more temporary anger, but still can not forgive, also do not want his life to be arranged by such a person. So I worked hard in the barracks.

With more and more people killed on the battlefield, my heart became more and more quiet.

I know that my grandmother and mother sent people to take care of me secretly, but after all, the mountains are high and the water is far away. As a soldier, I still suffered a lot. Step by step, I made my way up to the rank of liupin Zhaowu captain, and the road ahead was bright.

At this time, my family forced me to get married, and the marriage had been decided for a long time.

I hate women who have been baptized in the struggle of the inner house. However, my family background is doomed to be unable to allow me to choose according to my wishes. Moreover, I should be responsible for delaying others to the age of 18.

Who wants to go back to Chang'an this time, he can't return to the border.

But unexpectedly, the bride died on the way back! The incident disturbed the Dali temple, but there was no result.

I have never met with Madame Du, nor have I visited the church, let alone have any affection. But at least I am half a wife. How can I tolerate her death in vain under my eyes?

So I stayed in Chang'an and asked for an official position in the Ministry of punishment. Although I don't want to rely on family strength, I also understand that since the day I was born, I have been branded with a mark. Official career is destined to be many times smoother than that of ordinary people. Therefore, I don't want to cheat myself.

On the one hand, because of the family reasons, on the other hand, because of the numerous military achievements I made when I was Garrisoning the border, I was successfully assigned to the Ministry of punishment, and I was a regular sixth grade official at the beginning.

I didn't think I had a talent for solving crimes. Unfortunately, at the beginning, I did not have enough experience in solving a crime. In addition, the murderer committed the crime cleanly. It took me two or three years to find any trace.

But because I have solved a lot of cases, my official position is getting higher and higher, and the more ugly officialdom I have seen.

Then I realized that I was just jumping from a fire to purgatory. Get out? Since the moment I stepped into the officialdom, I have carried the glory of the family on my back. We Xiao's family has never been such a counsellor.

In the clan studies of Lanling, there are portraits of senior officials of the Xiao family. All of them have the right to turn to the government and the public. I know that in a hundred years' time, it is the best home for every Xiao's descendants and for me.

However, I can not be as upright as my father. If there is one thing, I clearly know that there are many better ways, why do I always have to take my own family life to touch it?

On the officialdom, father and son met in a narrow way, and he and I were still incompatible.

One day, I watched him scuffle with Wei Zheng in the hall. At that time, what I saw in my heart was not ridicule, nor contempt, but a moving face and heartache.

My father was demoted from Chang'an, and I went to see him off in person. But I know that he is a person who pays attention to his face. I don't want him to feel that he has lost his dignity in front of his son, so he only watched from the tower.

Since then, my official career has been more smooth. It is undeniable that I was able to sit as a servant of the Ministry of punishment at a young age, and my father was demoted. The Supreme Master of the ninth five year plan was guilty of his father and still respected him.The sage once evaluated him: the strong grass is known by the strong wind, and the honest minister is known by his boldness.

As an official, my father was undoubtedly successful. This was the first time I recognized him from childhood to adulthood.

Therefore, even if we still fight easily because of political disagreement, I will not block it any more. It is just a few punches and kicks, and I will take it.

In order to heal the Du family's loss of their daughter's injury, the family did not mention my marriage for two years, and I just fell at ease.

Because the Dali temple did not find out any clues, and it was said that Du was weak since childhood, so I only thought that her life was over, but I didn't believe it. So when I was in the Ministry of punishment, I kept on investigating the case. Two years later, when I was engaged in family marriage, I still refused.

Chang'an people only said that I was infatuated, so the Du family had an excellent impression on me.

Only Liu Qingsong that guy, once asked me if I fell in love with him, so I didn't want to marry.

I said with a smile: I'm not going to abandon myself so much.

Because of his great reputation, in the fourth year after Du's death, it was easy for my family to make a marriage that looked good for me. In the 16th year of her life, she was a fan's daughter.

I'm a normal man. Maybe I've learned about men and women later, but I really want to get married. So he happily agreed to come down.

I still have certain expectations for this marriage.

I was on guard and met the bride smoothly. I was about to go to the banquet hall after I visited the hall. However, I learned that there was a major robbery in the outskirts of Chang'an. The kidnapped person was the family members of the third grade official of the current Dynasty. The criminal department did not dare to make any mistakes. But another servant went home to his father's death, so I had to replace him temporarily. However, Lu also understood the truth and advised me to do business.

It took only three days to solve the case. The emperor also teased me whether I was in a hurry to go home and enter the bridal chamber.

Unfortunately, when I came home with a happy mood, after washing, the maid came to tell me that Lu was not angry!

The bridal chamber was still full of joy, and the woman on the couch had already turned blue and white, and her chest did not fluctuate.

Still no clue, Lu Shi and Du Shi are the same, so inexplicably died.

In the following years, I had been looking into this matter secretly, but I found a clue that pointed to my great aunt, but I never found any evidence to prove that she killed the person.

Perhaps because of this, I have no place to spread my anger, and my methods of handling cases have become more and more cruel, violent and unfeeling.

My interest in women seemed to be extinguished at the moment of seeing Lu's death. I think that since I can't protect them, I don't deserve to possess their body and mind.

And in this period of time, I also saw the real face of those women in Chang'an. They once seemed to love me very much, but after all, they didn't love me to the point of ignoring their lives. They were afraid of being killed by me.

For such a woman, I also disdain to touch.

But there are so many people who are not afraid of death and ask matchmakers to kiss them. Unfortunately, either widows or Yasha, no one dares to put these things into my mother's fury once, but I have no one to pay attention to.

In the past four years, some people said that I didn't even have a female mosquito around me, and I was not interested in it.

It was not until I went to Suzhou to pursue Su Ziqi that I met the first woman who could arouse my interest.

At that time, I could be sure that Su Ziqi was in the carriage. I even planned to seize Su Ziqi regardless of the life or death of the people in the carriage. However, the voice of the kidnapped woman was so calm and without any emotion.

It was just that the people I took were often damaged by Su Ziqi's sword. I was not sure I could catch him. After a moment's measurement, I felt sure I would let go of this opportunity.

I guessed her identity, so I went to visit her specially to find out whether she was kidnapped or with Su Ziqi.

On that rainy day in Suzhou, she was the first woman to approach me in these years.

I don't deny that seventeen Niang's appearance is very attractive to me, but the more I contact, the more I find her temperament very interesting.

Although I seldom contact women, it doesn't mean I don't understand. On the contrary, I see more clearly than most men.

She is Ran's legitimate daughter. She comes from a well-known family, but she has no trace of the delicacy of an aristocratic woman. Her eyes look dull, but I can feel her honesty.

I knew that ran Shilang knew me, so I deliberately appeared in front of him to see if the lady would be as frightened as others when she knew that I was Chang'an ghost.

But meet again, she is still that dull eyes, wooden expression, but I think that she, is really the beauty between heaven and earth is hard to find.

It seems that everything I have can't make her have too much emotion, but what she did shocked me. As I watched her skillfully dissect the corpse, I inquired about her experience.

The more I listen to her, the more interested I am in her.

When I was in Suzhou, I wanted to find her when I had a chance.

But happy days always seem short, I have to go back to Chang'an to report my work.

When I try to have fun with seventeen Niang and return to the boring life, I can't adapt to it. I think of her almost every day and I can't help but wonder what she is doing. Therefore, they sent people to Suzhou to send news every once in a while.It's strange to say that it's just a few sides of fate, but after the separation, my spontaneous change into love.

This love, let me decide no matter what the status, no matter how dangerous, must marry her.

It seems that after ten years of waiting, I finally found the opportunity to go to Suzhou in person.

When I arrived in Suzhou, I pressed down my excitement, carefully washed away the dusty clothes, changed several clothes, and wanted to let her see the best of me. Many women are infatuated with my appearance, and I hope that I can make her like it a little bit.

But on the way, she thought that her sudden enthusiasm would make her feel hard to accept, so she went back to change her official uniform, and felt that it would not be too deliberate.

However, the truth is always so cruel.

Then I found that Su Ziqi was one step ahead of me standing by her side.

At that moment, my heart countless emotions surge, countless ideas flashed in my mind. I should have caught Sufu in terms of feelings and responsibilities. But seeing the pleading in her eyes, I could only turn and leave. Because I'm afraid she's sad, I'm afraid she'll hate me.

I have never been on the initiative to any woman, so I asked Liu Qingsong for a lot of advice, but I felt that every time I failed.

Seventeen Niang's feelings seemed to be very implicit, just as I could vaguely feel that she had feelings for Sufu in her heart, but she never showed her admiration for him. But from a few contacts, I don't think she is such a euphemistic person.

Maybe something's holding her back?

This gave me great hope, so I tried harder to find a chance to get along with her.

From a spectator's point of view, Su Ziqi's affection for her is that of a gentleman, free and easy. I can't match him in this. At first, my affection for seventeen Niang was just the opposite of Su Ziqi's. my love was that of a villain. If I liked her, I would drag her to live and die together. In any case, I would not let go.

However, at the moment when she promised to marry me as my wife, I knew that I would not want to live with her any more. I would live for her and die for her.

After many years of marriage, I don't say so many boring sweet words as when I pursue her, because I have integrated all my feelings into the daily life. It's not that the feelings are weak, but deeper.

I believe you can understand, ah Yan. (to be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to start（ qidian.com ）Your support is my biggest motivation to vote for recommendation and monthly tickets. )

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