It's just about half way through the second month before the..day. I can't wait until I end the world. It's going to Be quite interesting and fun. My parents would probably be proud. The reason I'm saying probably is because They weren't always like me as a person, I'm weird but smart. Sinister but smart. My parents were apparently not as smart as me but they did say some strange things every now and then about things they would do to my sister and I. everyone ignored what they said because they knew that if they said anything it probably wouldn't be the best idea. Mainly because everyone knows that my are parents quite crazy in a way. They had their ways with making people's lives a living hell. I shook my thoughts about my parents away, the last thing I need is to feel something other then aggravation towards myself and other people (sister, coworkers, etc). My parents names were Rebecca and Alex Moore (mommy and daddy to me). they both had brown hair but somehow I was born with dirty blonde hair. they both had brown eyes so I wasn't so off with the eye colour. I wish I could meet my parents one more time, just to see how much we looked alike if we did. my sister said we look very alike. But I don't see it. I mean who would? No one sees us together nor even knows I have a sister. Abigail and Helena. two messed up daughters aren't I right? Anyways, enough about me and my sister and my odd family. let's get onto what's been bugging me immensely for the past week. The stupid ingredient hunt I have to go one. It's pointless! Why can't I find all these things in my regular super store huh?

*one week earlier*

"UGH! These stupid ingredients! Makes me want to f**king die!" I shouted in anger towards my wall. I'm sure my neighbours heard me but whatever because I really don't care today. they can hear me rage I mean it's not like they can do anything. It's not 9:00 pm so they can't file a noise complaint in my defence. basically, all my ingredients are at opposite ends of the city and one is in another country. Paris France, does not need to have a certain type of flower that I need for my potion, what the hell people? Does the world just not want me to end it all?

I tried to not think about it and breathe my anger away. Getting all worked up when I'm just beginning probably isn't going to do me any good at all. I paced around my house needing another cup of coffee to calm my senses and raging nerves like usual. I walked into my white, marble kitchen and made A pot of coffee with the usual. Two cream and three sugar! the scent took me back to a place here i knew I was safe and where I could think, peacefully.

*present day*

I just ordered the blood red rose I needed from France online and it should be coming in a few days. If it's dead that's fine I just need to extract the colour and that's it. this is the list that I have for ingredients.

Blood red rose

Tree branches (oak)

gun powder

that's all the ingredients I can get right now, the list goes on but I haven't written it all down yet. this stupid list makes me so confused and stressed more then that stupid couple at work makes me! Those two should seriously get a room, we need to build a room for them and evacuate the whole building so we don't have to hear their disgusting moans and groans. It's a work place not a strip club, Christ. it's so stupid and so idiotic and gross. The rose I need is called the Rose of Azura. it has this blood red colour that never really fades even when it is dead or dying. Thats why it is the only flower that can be shipped without dying. There is a certain chemical that is called clinizophinia. It keeps the plant alive longer. To be honest, I don't actually know when I got Into wanting to end the world, it just must have hit me one day. I probably had a dream about it and thought that it was the coolest idea to have ever existed. I think it was right after my parents died and I was quite depressed. I thought about suicide every day and I guess bringing everyone else down with me and being an emotion leech was appealing to my 6 year old self. I was a very odd child really. but enough about my child hood, I should get into the biggest problem right now, figuring out how much of each ingredient I need to put into this potion.. and where to get these ingredients. Once I arrived at my lab I got my bottle of citric acid out. Then I collected the oak branches from the trees near by my apartment complex. I gathered the gun powder from a shooting range not too far from this cafe down the street of the lab. I paid the owner $100 to get a bag of gunpowder from him. I would say it twas a success. once I had the main ingredients I could head back home and save the mixing/making the potion until I had every single ingredient locked down and secured in my home. I don't trust the lab, they have...people in there who like to...steal and well..borrow things for their own little experiments. It has happened to me six times before and it really makes me just want to crush their stupid heads like a little, ripe, tomato. I have strange thoughts but you readers already know that about me, because I'm not exactly the protagonist in this story...