After writing the letter I folded it and kept it at the corner close to my box. Somewhere I knew that it would be easy for someone to find should they search for me.

I felt so excited. It would soon be all over, no more pain, no more sadness. Finally I would be numb, finally I would be free, finally I would no longer exist.

I decided to take my bathe before leaving for my mission.

Just as I was about to go into the bathroom I heard my phone ring. Picking my phone up I saw that it was an unsaved number. I wanted to ignore it but then again, at the point of death you fear nothing. You care for nothing.

Ignore the call Lora. Take your bath and do leave. Give in already! Pain urged me.

"Hello, good afternoon, " I said into the phone, immediately I pressed the receive button.

"Its me your love Daniel! You are telling me good afternoon, I'm now a big boy oh." my brother shouted giggling from the other end of the phone.

I loved my brother so much. He was the best brother in the whole world and always had a way of cheering me up. He even sends me love messages sometimes and he was just fourteen. He sure does have the skills of a Playboy. He was my anchor, my lover. I loved him so much.

"I am a big boy oh so you don't know? Anyway I got a new sim this is the number so save it so you can use it to call me later."

"Big boy ke! New Sim bawo! Common will you shut up that your small mouth. Why are you not in class sef? Are you not supposed to be in school now?" I asked him laughing.

"I vacated myself oh, I am not going to go to school again, ah, kilode. I'm tired let me be an illiterate." He joked. I could not help but laugh at his silliness. "Everyone must not go to school. I will be a business man after all did bill gates go to school?"

I laughed harder.

Family was Indeed everything but it wasn't enough to keep one happy. It wasn't enough to sustain one's desire to live.

When you don't love yourself, nothing could ever be enough to keep you sustained. Absolutely nothing.

My mum laughed hard, she knew how much I hated Nathan so she always used him to tease me. " I'm serious Lora, his voice was super and that your friend, Michael, that one legged boy was just showing himself up and down jumping like a starving fish." she said laughing hysterically. "You should have seen him. He was just jumping anyhow."

I burst into a?full blown laughter. Michael was my ex. While I dated him my mum knew about him but she never liked him for me. She always warned me about him but I didn't listen. I believed everything he told me and I was enchanted by him. If only I listened to my mum. But teens are natural rebels and I was a teen.

Anyway I did get to learn my lessons in the hard way. He was a lesson and he made me wiser.

"Mum! Please leave me jor! Must you tease me everyday" I exclaimed.

She chuckled. "I must tease you oh. You know that you are my sweet heart. My Ada!The Queen herself! chaii! I'm so lucky to have you as my child."

She is lying. You are a burden to her, she doesn't love you. She's disgusted by you! Remember how disappointed she was with you because she wanted you to marry a virgin. You have disappointed her you are no longer their Queen. Take your life and set them free. Do this for them. You know the truth don't you Lora! You. Are. Only. A. Victim.

Pain sounded scared. Maybe he was worried that I wasn't going to give in to his demands again after hearing my mothers voice. But he had nothing to be scared of. I was going to give in.

"Please give the phone to Amara." I urged my mother. I wanted desperately to talk with my sister before I die.

"Ok ok my princess, don't forget I love you and we are waiting for you. I will call you later." She squeaked kissing the phone so I could hear it. It was her way of sending me a kiss through the phone. Funny.

"Lora." My sister called my name with so much joy in her voice.

"Amara. Eh he, what song did Nathan sing, " I asked my sister giggling, an all too fake giggle, hearing he did well made me sad.

"He sang oh holy night." She replied. "Nathan, Chisom, Michael and Mathew took solo's too. The carol was very nice." She informed me.

"Chisom! Wow!" I exclaimed. Chisom just newly joined the choir and she was already taking solo's and I've been in the choir for so long and I haven't even been given one solo. No matter how committed I was to singing I still couldn't train my voice to be beautiful like theirs, It made me sad.

"Yes oh, they all tried even Michael that idiot did well too and____"

Before my sister could finish her sentence the call cut and I knew that my Brothers phone credit had been exhausted. He always used whatever little credit he had to call me, that's how much he loved me.

I switched of my phone not wanting anyone to call me again. If this was the plan of the universe to distract me from my mission then it was not going to work.

No! no! no!

I had made up my mind and it would only be changed by a god.