During the finals, students could stay at home. Bing Shi always stayed at home and studied in her bedroom from morning till night. At first, she cooked for herself; then, she switched to bread to save time, then she forgot about food altogether. The pressure and stress overshadowed her hunger.

░~Your nose is bleeding.░

There were red droplets of blood dripping onto the white sheet of paper, staining it red. Bing Shi quickly went to her bathroom to clean her face. While she was putting paper tissues into her nose, she started to sob silently.

░What's happening?░

░Why is my nose bleeding so much these days?░

░My hair...░

░~ When was the last time you ate?░

░I don't know...░

░~ You have to eat.░

Bing Shi walked to the kitchen, forcing herself to eat an apple; she started to gag. Now the sobbing sound became a cry.

░~Useless. Stop crying. Will crying help you pass the exams?░

Bing Shi stopped crying, going back to her bedroom, she started to study again; ignoring her hunger. It was hard to eat; she felt sick when she ate.

· · ─── · ⊱❈⊰· ─── · ·

"How many exams do you have left?" asked Xuan Mu as he did a periodical check up on his girlfriend before their bed time.

"After this, there's only one left," Bing Shi answered happily. Holding a ruller and a pencil in each hand, she struggled to solve a problem in descriptive geometry.

"Finally, we can spend some time together," beamed Xuan Mu. "Who are these new people waiting to be accepted as friends? Can I delete them?" he asked for her permission.

Placing the tools aside, she checked their names, "Yeah. Maybe friends of my parents and their sons and daughters?"

"Is someone important?" Xuan Mu queried, his tone mushed.

"No."

"Then I'll block them all. Have a nice sleep, Bing Shi," Xuan Mu purred innocently.

"You too," Bing Shi responded absentmindedly.

░Sleep? What is that?░

· · ─── · ⊱❈⊰· ─── · ·

When Bing Shi logged into the school's website to see the results of her exam, a mountain of pressure ripped open her already sick stomach. The disappointment she felt, lead her heart to the depth of infinite darkness. A broken sob pierced the air as she stared at the failing mark in descriptive geometry.

░I failed.░

░They will laugh at me for being stupid.░

░They will be disappointed again.░

░~They called you trice since you started; they are not worthy. They only give you money.░

░~Only Xuan Mu cares about you; he is the only one who is with you when you need it. You have to study, so you can have a better future with him.░

░~Because except studying, you know nothing.░

░~ You still have a chance, just try harder.░

░What if I fail again?░

Bing Shi studied nonstop. The pressure and stress were too much for her. She felt psychically and mentally so tired that she fainted on her desk.

She just missed Xuan Mu's call, who was checking on her regularly.

Xuan Mu was worried to death. She didn't pick up. She'd always pick up. He noticed that she's still online. She should be at home right now. Was she ignoring him? What if something terrible happened? He started to spam her with calls and messages without stopping, for the whole night.

While Bing Shi fainted from too much tiredness, Xuan Mu was awake the entire night, feeling powerless.

Bing Shi, who had her head on her desk, woke up from a ringtone. She looked at her phone in a daze.

░Oh, no Xuan Mu!░

"I want to choke you to death! Where were you?!" The worried Xuan Mu roared at her furiously.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep," Bing Shi apologized. Hearing his anger, her tears started to well up.

"I thought something bad happened! I was about to call the police! You are so irresponsible!" Xuan Mu had no idea how to went out his worry and anger.

"Something bad did happen; I think I might disappoint you," Bing Shi broke down and cried out, "I'm sorry."

"Bing Shi, I was just worried, don't cry please," Xuan Mu's fury disappeared the moment he heard her sobbing, "I'm sorry for shouting at you. What's wrong, why are you crying?"

"I failed my exam..." Bing Shi whispered, ashamed of herself, afraid of his reaction.

░He likes smart girls, not stupid ones. He is going to be disappointed, for sure.░

"But I became prettier..." she whimpered.

░He likes pretty girls, doesn't he?░

"I'll never be disappointed with you. You still have a second chance, don't you? And if you feel pressured, then stop studying. We will find a way out together," Xuan Mu started to feel uneasy, "No! Don't be more pretty. You are pretty enough," he pleaded. He'd rather prefer her to be more ugly, so only he could see her true beauty.

"But, I did become prettier," Bing Shi insisted.

"Let me see...turn on the camera on your laptop," Xuan Mu's guts told him that something was wrong.

They were used only to voice chat. Also, Bing Shi had her cameras on her laptop and phones...taped. Whenever she wanted to take a picture, she'd use her vlog camera.

"No," Bing Shi refused flatly.

"Bing Shi, please," Xuan Mu begged, his tone desperate.

"Fine..." Bing Shi removed the tape and turned on the camera.

When Xuan Mu saw her, his heart stopped. His ribs heaved as if bound by ropes; he struggled with regulating his breathing. Looking at her in distress; the pain he felt was like a cl.u.s.ter of sparks, drilling sharply through his abdomen.

The sigh was so agonizing that it made him cry, "BING SHI!!! What did you to yourself!?" Xuan Mu yelled at Bing Shi, "You have to eat!!!" His eyesight got blurry from the tears, "Please....eat."

Didn't she say she loved herself? Then why was she hurting herself now? Was it because of him? It had to be! He always complained about her happy behavior, never did he notice that something was wrong. She hid her stress so well...

"I don't know, I try to eat, but I throw up every time," Bing Shi hid her face behind her weak, bony hands, struggling to hide her tears.

"You have to eat, please. I'll leave you alone, just stop hurting yourself." When he saw how skinny she became, he regretted his actions. She was all alone in a foreign country, and all he did was distancing her from others. She was working hard for their future, while he... He acted selfish, only thinking about his feelings; he never thought about what Bing Shi was going through. Hearing her happy giggles gave him the impression that everything was fine.

"But you'll kill yourself! I don't want you to leave me..." It's not only her life now. She was always careful with his life, treasuring it as her own.

░Your presence grew on me.░

░I got too attached to you.░

░I need you in my life.░

"I won't kill myself. Get something to eat right now. I'll watch you eat it," Xuan Mu said in an assuring tone.

〖 For her to be happy, I would gladly live in suffering. But how am I going to live without her?〗

When she came back, she forced herself to eat. Halfway through the porridge, she didn't even have time to run to the toilet and vomited everything right before his eyes. Both of them started to cry together. It was so painful to watch.

Bing Shi tried to make a funny comment, "..."

"Stop it! Don't smile! Don't laugh!" Xuan Mu commanded with a broken voice. Bing Shi stopped per his wish, she stood up emotionlessly and went to clean after herself.

When she came back, she was about to smile at him.

"No, No. Stop smiling, please, I beg you," Xuan Mu's heart throbbed.

Bing Shi smiled weakly anyway, "I can't stop it. It became a part of me." She cried and smiled at the same time. It was uncomfortable to watch how she tried to force herself not to laugh.

"Please, how can I help you?" he asked. Did she ever need help? It was like she never needed anybody. The so happy go lucky girl was just a facade. That thought tortured his heart.

"You are still young. You should enjoy your life," Bing Shi didn't want him to end up like her.

"But how can I enjoy my life when you are hurting?" Xuan Mu whined. He wanted to enjoy their life together.

"I'm not hurting," Bing Shi turned off the camera, "I'm fine."

"Bing Shi, switch the camera on! I need to see you eating! Do you want me to fly over and feed you myself?!" Xuan Mu raised his voice.

"..." Bing Shi turned on the camera and changed the topic, "Do you remember those novels I always talked about?" She started speaking as she blew her nose into a tissue.

Xuan Mu remembered them, but he was not into romance. He just heard about a bunch of ice cubes, CEOs, assassin women, and all crazy overpowered characters.

"They are illogical, but I find them inspiring. You are already better than me. So let's become a power couple?" she suggested, the corner of her lips curling up.

Bing Shi's mood switched instantly and how scary it was. She was a bad actress, but nobody could tell if she was really happy or just pretending. She wasn't acting. It's her way of self-defense, it became a part of her. But whenever she was laughing with Xuan Mu, that's her truest form of happiness.

"Sure, whatever you want. But first, try to get a bite of something." A power couple? She talked about it before. He liked the idea.

"Then I'm going to boil some sweet potatoes. I like them the most," Bing Shi stood up and was about to go to the kitchen when she stopped at his next words.

"You would even sell me for a bag of sweet potatoes," Xuan Mu pouted cutely.

"Not a bag, maybe a truck would do," Bing Shi giggled, he'd never forget to improve her mood.

"I'll buy you a plantation of sweet potatoes, just don't sell me," Xuan Mu rubbed his red eyes, getting rid of his tears.

"Deal!" Bing Shi agreed, "Sorry, I didn't want to give you such a burden," she apologized, her eyes got teary again.

"I don't mind. Let's share our burdens," Xuan Mu smiled as he looked at her, "It's my turn to save you."

Bing Shi chuckled, "Whose turn? You own me nothing. You saved yourself."

Both of them were like drug addicts; the addiction was too deep; they couldn't live without each other anymore.

Xuan Mu's progress in becoming a powerful man was frighteningly fast. His potential was so tremendous that it even surpassed Bing Shi's expectations.

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╔════ Author's note ═════╗

Song for the mood: Sasha Sloan - The Only

This author is bad with flowery words.

I tried to write an emotional chapter but well... I don't know what to think about it.

Would appreciate some opinions on how to improve my writing or your thoughts on this chapter.

Thanks!

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