I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Chapter 16 - Speak No Evil



As he waits for Jonathan to finish up in the bathroom, Lucas scoots forward and refreshes the bank account\'s website again. Somehow, it is still the same unbelievable amount, the reality of this is finally starting to sink in a little bit into Lucas\'s mind.

While Lucas continues to openly stare at the screen, Jonathan opens up the bathroom door and comes out dressed in the soft pale blue tee and gray sweatpants with a towel draped over his shoulders. Holding up an end of the towel with one hand, he\'s still drying his hair. With an expression of hesitant worry across his face, Jonathan looks around a bit before seeing Lucas watching him with a raised eyebrow from the patched-up sofa.

Jonathan flashes a cheerful smile once he makes eye contact with Lucas, practically skipping over towards him. Lucas can\'t help barking out a short laugh when seeing this distinct change in mood.

"Thank you so much, I feel waaay better now. Ugh, it\'s been too long, I almost forgot what it feels like to be clean. Oh, um, you mentioned s-something to eat earlier..?" Jonathan starts off in a cheery voice, but falters near the end and trails off with a note of hesitance, not seeming entirely sure how to bring up just how hungry he is.

His stomach, however, has no such qualms about making its desires known. With a loud growl, it clearly declares its existence. In record time, Jonathan\'s ears turn red with embarrassment. Lucas however, has a round of laughter at his expense.

"Yeah yeah, I wasn\'t exactly ready to entertain guests so there really isn\'t much, but I\'ll make it up to ya at dinner." Lucas says this as he gets up from the sofa to head over towards the kitchenette.

Looking Jonathan over once again, he can\'t help continuing. "Sheesh, you\'re even paler than I realized. Seriously, earlier you looked like you got in a fight with a dumpster, and the dumpster won. Anyway, your grand list of options is ramen or leftover sausage pizza, sorry."

With both hands wielding the towel at this point, Jonathan just about finishes with drying his hair. Giving a self-deprecating smile, he lowers his head a bit before answering. "Either is fine, th-thank you. I\'ll probably eat just about anything and everything at this point. Breakfast today was... Oh. Two energy drinks. Eheheh."

"Good god kid, you\'re even worse than me! Bah, sit down, I\'ll just make everything. I\'ll microwave some of the pizza to tide you over while the water gets going for the ramen, be right back." Lucas shakes his head as he finishes saying this, disappearing out of Jonathan\'s line of sight into the kitchenette.

Jonathan plops down onto the sofa, sinking back with a contented sigh as he basks in the simple comfort that he hasn\'t felt in far too long. Eyes wandering, he notices the laptop that hasn\'t yet switched to screensaver mode. Unable to resist, he takes a look and gasps loudly before covering his mouth with both hands. Before much more time has passed the screensaver starts up, Jonathan decides it is in his best interests to keep quiet.

He holds this \'speak no evil\' pose until he hears the beep of the microwave, finally lowering his hands and not entirely sure what to do with them. Lucas comes back out to see that Jonathan is back into full-on fidget mode, quietly staring down at his hands wide-eyed.

\'What in the world..?\'

Sliding a plate with two slices of pizza in front of Jonathan\'s face, he gets his attention.

"Oh! Um, I didn\'t m-mean to look! I\'m sorry!" Jonathan jumps slightly as he stammers out his guilty admission, quickly taking the plate lest Lucas changes his mind, starting to stuff his face with its cheesy glory.

"Eh? Oh! Heheh, I can\'t quite believe it myself. I\'m a bit hesitant to spend much until I talk some more with my... Contact. But, we should be safe to go shopping later to get some stuff you\'ll need and stock up the fridge at least. Oh, you should probably take a nap first though, once yer done eating of course." Lucas grins after speaking, heading back to tend to the ramen and the preheating oven to properly reheat the rest of the pizza.

"Mmph, okay!" Swallowing his latest mouthful of pizza, Jonathan manages a brief response before continuing to demolish the sacrifice before him.

After a bit of time, Lucas ducks back into the living room briefly to throw two water bottles at the sofa next to Jonathan, one chilled and the other room temperature. Afterward, he goes back into the kitchenette without even saying anything, just smiling a bit to himself after seeing the ravenous couch goblin nearly done with his offering.

Once everything is ready, Lucas brings it out to the coffee table in batches, reserving 2 slices of pizza and the last garlic knot for himself, and yielding everything else to the black hole contained within Jonathan\'s stomach.

Eventually shooing Jonathan all the way to one side of the sofa, he claims the other half, glaring at Jonathan when his gaze lingers on the can of beer he brought out for himself. Startling briefly from the gaze, Jonathan devotes his entire being towards his research into the maximum capacity of his stomach.

Lucas shifts his attention towards the quietly resting television, attempting to pull over the remote on the coffee table towards himself with his left foot. Failing to reach, he simply gives up and eats his lunch, resting his foot on the table as if that was his intention all along.

The final results of Jonathan\'s research prove to be inconclusive, additional data required.

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Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 4

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 4

Lucas current GDV: 4.2 (+.01 +.01 = +.02 net change)

Jonathan current GDV: .63

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, destroyer of all things consumable: Ooh ooh what are we going shopping for!? How much do I get to spend!?

Lucas, unsure as to whether he wants to laugh or cry more: How are you coping with my bank account better than I am? Is this what it\'s like to be a parent?

427, still furious: [Hmph. I\'m not gonna announce the little bit of GDV you earned in this chapter.]

Author, snickering a few times first: I\'m pretty sure Jonathan is just assuming Lucas is casually spoiling him at this point and is embracing it? You should probably work on establishing yourself as something other than a concerned tsundere Lucas >.>;