"You two must have had quite a night," Hunter replied with a smirk.

I returned his smirk, "do you want the juicy details?"

Hunter snorted quietly, "don\'t make me laugh like that or he\'ll wake up."

I met Hunter\'s gaze once more before losing some of my composure. I put my head against the table top with a deep sigh, "I messed up."

"How bad?"

I could feel his gaze on me as I closed my eyes and focused on not getting more upset. "Really bad."

"What happened?" He kicked my foot from under the table lightly, encouraging me to put my head up and look at him in the eyes.

"I don\'t know what has gotten into me," I sighed as I averted his gaze. "I told Asher I love him."

I felt Hunter\'s body stiffen as his eyes got bigger. "You can\'t be serious," hunter whispered as I finally looked back to him in order to express how serious I was.

I nodded, "I don\'t know what to do now."

"Well do you actually love him?"

I looked away from him again, "I\'m not even sure what those words mean Hunter. The only person I\'ve ever loved is you. And this feeling is very different from what I have towards you." I shook my head slightly, "it\'s not even the same feelings I have towards Cam. But that is the only phrase I can find to explain how much I feel for him. For both of them."

"How is it different?"

I sighed again as I leaned back in my chair. "The feelings I have for Cam are very straightforward and I can identify them easily. He makes me feel comfortable and I want to keep him safe at any cost."

"I wouldn\'t really call that love," Hunter replied. "Or at least not the kind you would have for a mate."

"But I don\'t even understand what I feel for Asher."

"Well what can you tell? Maybe that will help us figure it out."

I thought for a moment before looking back to Hunter. "All I can think about is that I want him."

Hunter scoffed, "who could you not want?"

I looked at him with annoyance, "not just in that way." I pulled my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I want him in every sense of the word. I want him at my side; I want as my partner; I want to wake up beside him. I want to spend every moment I can with him. I just want him."

Hunter froze as he stared at me in a way he had never done before, "that\'s love," Hunter whispered. "The love you have for a mate."

I scowled again, "but that does not mean I have to say it. I\'m just getting his hopes up when I can never satisfy him."

"He\'s determined to find a way to make it where you don\'t have to be with that Alpha."

I looked at Hunter with sadness, "it\'s a pipe dream," I replied. "My body will not let me have anyone else. It does not matter how much I love anyone, I can\'t defy that Alpha. It\'s my worst nightmare come to life." I look down to the table, "I\'m getting worse by the day and soon enough he will find me. That stunt yesterday made it clear to me that he will not give up."

"But we don\'t plan to give up either."

I fought back tears as I shook my head, "I\'m almost to the point where I can\'t fight it anymore. It does not matter how many times Asher satisfies me. It\'s never enough because it is not that Alpha." My hands began to shake. "I don\'t even want him near me but my body will not let it be that way."

"Have faith," Hunter replied with sternness. "We will find a way. As your best friend, I won\'t let you bow down to this. I will fight until you can actually be happy. And I think Asher is the only one that can make you truly happy."

I looked away and we became silent for a few minutes. "I need it time to think." I looked to Hnter again, which seemed to surprise him somewhat, "can I at least go for a walk?"

Hunter shook his head, "after yesterday, I don\'t want you out of this apartment for a while."

"All right," I whispered as I knew he had a point. I went over to the table in the living room and picked up my lighter and pack.

I went over to the large windows in the living room and popped open one of them. I leaned against the other windows I began smoking. Every time I let out a puff, I made sure it went out the window.

We both were silent until we heard some noises coming from the bedroom. I looked away so that I would not meet the gaze of Asher has he came out of the bedroom. He yawned and I heard him walking towards Hunter.

"Morning," he said cheerfully before I heard him walk further away from me. I focus on looking outside the window as I heard the coffee maker start and stop.

I was slightly startled when I heard Asher walking towards me. I looked up as he smiled gently and put a cup of coffee towards me. I took it meekly before looking back out the window, "thanks."

I ignored his presence and continued smoking. I tried my best to hide how much pain I was in, but it was becoming unbearable. As I finish the cigarette, I lean towards an ashtray and put it out. I felt my entire body trembling with pure pain and arousal.

"Hunter," I whispered as I closed my eyes and focus on not getting sick. "Did we get that new box of medicine?"

"Yeah," he replied before standing up and going by the door. He picked up and brought over a box. I ripped it open and saw all the syringes that it held. I sighed as I counted how many I could see from the top. There is no way this would last me more than a few days.

"How long did they say before the next box?"

"Two weeks."

"And I have to stay inside?" I looked to Hunter and he nodded with curiosity.

I took out 10 syringes and put the box on the ground before shoving it slightly with my foot. I started bouncing my leg as I closed my eyes.

"How many pills are left?"

Hunter rummage through a drawer and then sighed, "there\'s just a handful of suppressants left."

"Damn," I whispered before hopping to my feet. I shuffled past Asher and Hunter as I went to the kitchen. I found the cabinet I wanted and immediately open it. I tried to quicken my pace as my nausea got worse, but it was too far gone.

I turned quickly and I shoved Hunter out of the way as he walks towards me. I rushed to the sink and threw up violently. My body tried to collapse onto the ground so I put my elbows and forearms on the counter to keep myself up.

I turned to Hunter slightly as he looked to me in shocks, "Vodka\'" I ġrȯȧnėd before throwing up /two more times.

Hunter took out the bottle but seemed unsure on what to do next. I yanked it from his grip, violently twisted off the top, and began chugging it.

"Will!" Hunter yelled as he tried to grapple for the bottle. I was so desperate that I ended up picking up my foot and kicking him off. I was startled though when the bottle was grabbed out of my hand and I turned to see Asher behind me.

I was horrified when he suddenly turned the bottle over and poured ut into the sink. I tried to fight his hands off the bottle, but I was becoming too weak to fight anything. I finally gave up and slowly walked away as my body trembled and tried to collapse. I went back to the cabinet and pulled out the bottle of rum. Hunter was back to his feet and tried to grab it from me.

I finally look to him in pure anger, "stop it!" Hunter hissed as he tried to yank it away again but I used every ounce of power I had to fight him. "What is wrong with you!" Hunter yelled as he refused to let me closer to opening the bottle.

"I can\'t handle it!" I screamed, "I\'m about to lose control!" As I violently shivered, I saw Hunter\'s eyes widen as his face turned slightly red.

My pheromones had let loose and were running wild. I fought myself from collapsing to the ground by putting my arm on the counter nearby but I still did not let go of the bottle.

"It\'s either the bottle or that Alpha," I cried as I looked into Hunter\'s eyes. "And I pick the bottle!" I screamed before yanking it away from him.

I took my chance, as they were both still stunned by the amount of pheromones coming out of me. I rushed off with the bottle in my hand and made it to my bedroom. I slammed the door and locked it quickly as I heard Asher following.. I went and sat on the bed while beginning to chug the rum as fast as I could.