\'\'Have I ever told you why I formed a gang?\'\'

\'\'No,\'\' I respond and adjust my cramping legs. \'\'You haven\'t.\'\'

He sits up straighter, his back resting on the board of my bed, a pensive look on his face. \'\'Do you remember what I said in the police station\'s parking lot?\'\'

\'\'To be fair, a lot of things where said that day,\'\' There was a lot of crying on my part. \'\'You need to be more specific.\'\'

With a shake of his head, he smiles a little and crosses his arms above his chest. My gaze follows his movement; mild, but muscular arms cross over his pecs, the dark leather jacket he\'s wearing over a grey T-shirt straining with his movement. He catches my stare and clears his throat giving me a knowing look. I divert my eyes and steer the conversation back to its originality.

Focus, Mel. \'\'So, you were saying?\'\'

\'\'I said that in order to beat the system, you have to be the system.\'\'

Now, I remember. He said that in response to me questioning him about why he engages in drug pushing and weapons dealing. I nod once in response and he sees that as a sign of encouragement to go on.

\'\'I remember that conversation. It was right after I told you about Khalil and I\'s childhood,\'\' I affirm. It seems like forever ago, but that night is still fresh in my memory.

\'\'Right, Khalil.\'\' he says Khalil\'s name like it leaves a very sour taste in his mouth. \'\'The bastard is lucky I didn\'t kill him.\'\'

\'\'If you did, you\'d probably in jail.\'\' I still don\'t know how he was able to escape jail time for shooting Khalil on the foot. Sure, he was trying to protect me, but isn\'t what he did assault with a deadly weapon? I want to ask him how but something tells me I shouldn\'t. His facial expression turned hard at the mere mention of the name \'Khalil.\' Not to mention, he looks like he actually would make good on his promise to kill the next time he sees him.

It makes me wonder if he has actually murdered someone before.

Cynically, he replies. \'\'Lucky me then.\'\'

Lucky you.

\'\'I was sixteen when I first met Janet and Pearson. You remember them, right?\'\' How can I forget? One drugged me and the other walked me to my car.

\'\'They aren\'t actually characters you forget that easily.\'\'

He nods. \'\'Janet is a handful, but she means well.\'\'

\'\'She drugged me.\'\'

He looks at me, regret prominent on his features. I need to stop reminding him of that night. He has apologized and I\'ve forgiven. \'\'She thought you were a threat. On her behalf, and on mine,\'\' he looks at me with one emotion: sincerity, \'\'We\'re sorry. I was a dick back then and I shouldn\'t have done what I did. It was stupid of me.\'\'

\'\'It\'s fine,\'\' I give him a mega-watt smile to show him my seriousness. \'\'I mean it. You don\'t have to keep apologizing. All is forgiven.\'\' And after that kiss, all is forgotten. \'\'Let\'s get back on topic.\'\' He visibly relaxes. \'\'You were telling me about how you met Janet and Pearson.\'\'

\'\'Right,\'\' he nods. \'\'I met Janet and Pearson at a street racing competition.\'\'

\'\'Isn\'t that illegal?\'\'

Hips lips curve. \'\'Not in Bridgewood.\'\'

\'\'So, Janet, Pearson and I met and we hit it off right away. Janet had won many races and even a few local championships, so we became friends. She taught me everything I know. In time, we became a known trio at our car meets and we won competitions and shit. At the time, I used street racing as a means to cope with all the shit that was going on in my life.\'\' He still holds my gaze. \'\'Mariah had the abortion, I lost the baby, I was having family problems. Fuck, I was spiralling. My mum said I had become \'problematic,\' and to an extent, that was true. Not that they really cared anyway but even I knew I was engaging in self-destructive behaviour.\'\'

His eyes are waiting for me to say something or judge him but I don\'t.

\'\'Janet, Pearson and I\'s popularity began to grow at the car meets and we caught the attention of a booker named Darnelll. He handled all the bets that happened during and after the races and he was also a known big time drug dealer.\'\' He adjusts his position again. \'\'One day, he asked us, well more like asked Janet, if she\'d drive him to a delivery point. He said he\'d pay her ten grand and she agreed. However, she didn\'t want to go alone so she enlisted our help.\'\'

As his eyes grow dark, I have a feeling that the story does not have a happy ending.

\'\'It was meant to be an easy trade: Janet drives him to the meeting point with Pearson and I in tow, he meets his client to deliver the drugs and we zoom off.\'\' He darkly chuckles. \'\'When we got to the meeting point, it was on the outskirts of Bridgewood at an abandoned warehouse and it was midnight, Darnell got out of the car and into the warehouse and we waited. Next thing I remember was a tap on the driver\'s side window. Three men had surrounded the car with guns, one of them pointing it right at Janet\'s head.\'\'

Oh. My. God.

\'\'Sixteen year old me was scared as fuck because I thought I was going to die. Till this day, I don\'t know how we made it out alive but we did. They threatened us and said that if we ever show up at the car meets again, they\'d blow our brains out. I didn\'t even realize we had racked up a list of enemies until Darnell told us that we pissed off a bunch of sore, lame losers. Turns out a lot of people had been betting on our downfall…literally.\'\' His light attempt at a joke makes me smile.

\'\'Long story short, after that incident, we didn\'t go back to the car meets. Janet was pissed off, and said that she didn\'t like being a \'weak bitch\' to put it in her words, so we formed a gang. If we were strong and powerful, no one would have the audacity to fuck with us. Janet assigned me the leader since I was the one with the most cash and I had the power to procure the weapons and drugs.\'\' My eyebrows raise slightly. \'\'I have connections in high places,\'\' he says simply, answering my unspoken question.

How high are your connections?

\'\'For about a year and a half we built another reputation for ourselves, this time as a gang.\'\' He smirks. \'\'I won\'t go into the details, but we are the most feared gang in Bridgewood-\'\'

I halt him. \'\'How is Ryan involved in all this?\'\' All I\'ve heard is Jason, Janet and Pearson, never Ryan. I heard what I heard near the girls\' bathroom and he\'s somehow mixed in this shit. \'\'Ryan isn\'t really mixed in all this. He just takes the orders. Janet, Pearson and I do most of the heavy lifting.\'\'

You mean the dirty work.

\'\'After we became stronger, we went back to the car meet and heard through the grapevine that Darnell had hired the men to threaten us. To say that Janet was pissed was an understatement.\'\'

I gasp. \'\'Did y\'all piss in his cereal?\'\'

What could possibly be his vendetta? Isn\'t he just a booker?

\'\'Impatient,\'\' he says. I can\'t help it, I love a good story. \'\'After we found out he was the one, we ran his bookmaking business to the ground. It was easy, they guy was a crook and was cyphooning money from people. He even owed debts to a few mafias. After we did that, he came on his knees begging and confessed that he was hired by a rival gang called the Tollido\'s. I had beaten Gerald, their leader, one night and he didn\'t like to loose. Figured the easiest way to not loose was to threaten us because he thought we were a bunch of weak teenagers.\'\'

Wow.

\'\'After that, I never heard from Darnell again.\'\'

\'\'What happened to him?\'\'

\'\'He committed suicide, shot himself in the head twice with a thirty-two calliber.\'\'

\'\'Shit,\'\' I whisper.

\'\'That was the first thing I said when I heard the news.\'\'

\'\'Did y\'all kill him?\'\' The question flies out of my mouth before I have a chance to reign my tongue in. He doesn\'t look offended. \'\'I\'ve said this before, I\'m not a murderer. Sure, I may deliver weapons and drugs but killing people is not my speciality. I didn\'t kill him.\'\'

That doesn\'t mean that Janet or Pearson didn\'t do it.

\'\'The police ruled it a murder by suicide so it couldn\'t have been us,\'\' he defends Janet and Pearson. \'\'We may be a lot of things, but we don\'t kill people.\'\'

I say nothing.

Why? Becomes I\'m speechless.

Being speechless is a very big rarity for me, but somehow Jason Blunt manages to make me feel this way.

Street racing? Gang? The Tollido\'s?

This boy has lived a life and he isn\'t even forty.

\'\'Say something, Princess,\'\' he whispers. \'\'Say anything. Your silence is killing me.\'\'

\'\'I have no idea what to say.\'\' I answer honestly. \'\'This is some confession.\'\' That I have to water down with a clear head and a cup of green tea. I don\'t even drink green tea but I think I need it right about now.

\'\'I just have one more question.\'\'

He nods. \'\'Go on.\'\'

\'\'Why did you come all the way to my house to tell me all this?\'\'

Without skipping a beat, he answers. \'\'Because I\'m a fucking bastard and I like you.\'\'