With a final goodbye kiss, and a very heavy heart (because he begged me to stay longer but I said no because it was getting late), I\'m out door and into the cool night air. Thank God I brought a jacket or it\'d be an uncomfortable walk home. It\'s not biting cold, in fact, it was quite sunny when I left home but it seems like the temperature dropped.

I love taking walks mainly because it\'s a rarity for me. I usually drive everywhere and it\'s making me a lazy ass. It\'s good to let your hair down and let the wind kiss your face every once in a while. Bob offered me a ride home but I declined because I do not know if Mum\'s going to be home or not, and quite frankly, I do not want to answer any questions.

As my sneakers pad the cobblestone tiles and pass by the numerous shops, I think about Bob and I\'s relationship. I know for a fact that we are definitely not the ideal couple. Most couples go out on dates in public, or take walks on the beach in public, but we can\'t, which for the time being is fine by me, but I have my doubts. Maybe it\'s my insecurities speaking, but forbidden relationships end in two ways: a breakup or jail time. Jail time is certainly crouching at Bob\'s door because I\'m only seventeen. I\'m still in high school and they\'d say he manipulated me (that\'s how the narrative is always painted) but they couldn\'t be more wrong. What we have is something…special. I\'ve known him for a whole year and a half and we\'ve been dating for 5 months, but I feel like I\'ve known him my whole life.

He\'s sweet, caring, kind and he actually gets me. I stayed away from dating boys in my highschool for various reasons, the most important one being that I didn\'t trust men/boys after what my dad did. It completely shattered me and I went through this phase where I thought all men were horrible creatures but he took me out of that place that I was mentally. I\'ll never forget when I opened up to him about my dad and all the turmoil I felt inside. I was in a really foul mood and was highly emotional that day, but then he ordered chocolates from this new store called Delights along with a bouquet of flowers and left it in my locker at the diner. Still don\'t know how he was able to pull it off, but he did and my mood did a whole 360 degree turn. I still get goosebumps everytime I think of those gifts.

I love him…I think…I don\'t know if I do because these feelings are so novel to me. The romance books I read from time to time describe love as the feeling you get when you have butterflies in your stomach and when your heart beats rapidly with just the mere thought of your lover. I feel all these things, so I think it\'s love.

But then the problem is does he love me back? I know he asked me to be his girlfriend, but does he actually love me? He buys me shit so that must count as something, right? You don\'t just buy chocolates and flowers, go out on dates and make out with someone you hate. I\'m afraid to tell him how I feel because I\'m scared he wouldn\'t feel the same way. Plus, isn\'t it tradition for the guy to say the L word first?

Then there\'s also another problem: Jason. The boy I can\'t stop thinking about no matter how hard I try to. Why did he try to kiss me that night? Was he caught up in the moment? Moreso, why did my body want to give in to the kiss? It sounds horrible considering I have a boyfriend and it took the rational part of me to stop before it went too far that night, but I can\'t help but feel a little conflicted.

Also, he\'s hiding something major. I know he says he\'s in a gang and they deliver drugs and bla bla bla but I feel like there\'s more that meets the eye. Why was he bruised the day he showed up at my home? What was he doing on Sylvia Street in the first place? Why does he even engage in weapon and drug pushing? A lot of things don\'t make sense about Jason Blunt and it\'s unsettling.

I see the familiar street sign that says Sylvia Street and walk towards it. I know after all the drama that happened that night and considering the fact that it\'s not in the least bit safe, I should be weary of it, but I\'m a big girl with a big can of pepper spray so I can take care of myself.

Also, it\'s 11:00pm and I\'m a little behind schedule in the homework department.

Briskly walking into the alleyway, I tug my jacket close and my bag even closer, ignoring the stares from the coke heads who are smoking weed in front a dilapidated building. One of them happens to be staring a little too long. I could literally feel his gaze through my body and I shudder in disgust.

Quick steps, Melody.

I hear footsteps behind me, loud footsteps behind me and I freeze. My hand reaches for the pepper spray in my bag, ready to attack anyone who attacks me.

\'\'If it isn\'t homegirl, Mel.\' The voice snickers and the awful scent of the weed infects my nose. \'\'Haven\'t seen you in these parts lately.\'\'

I turn to face him with the can in my hand. \'\'And for good reason, Khalil. What the fuck do you want?\'\'

His spiky Mohawk rises up and he takes a long drawl of the cancer stick he\'s holding. \'\'Now is that a way to greet an old friend?\'\'

He takes a few steps towards me and I step back. \'\'Stay the fuck away from me. I mean it.\'\'

The bloodshot eyes on his mocha skin holds nothing but mischief and it makes my skin crawl. I take in his tattered jeans and sky blue shirt which looked like it\'s been through the ringer. What have you done with yourself, Khalil?

\'\'Why are you doing this to yourself? You swore you stopped the drugs.\'\' He rolls his eyes. \'\'What is this? An inquisition? Why the fuck do you care?

\'\'Because…\'\' Really, why the fuck do you care? \'\'You\'re right,\'\' I finally say. \'\'I don\'t care.\'\'

\'\'Oh, so because you\'re going to that rich people school you think you\'re better than me?" How does he even know that piece of information? He is becoming irate now and he\'s charging towards me. I make a run for it but he grabs hold of my left arm forcefully making me drop my one and only defense mechanism in shock. \'\'Let me go,\'\' I warn. He digs his long fingernails deep into my skin and I scream. \'\'Let me go you bloody psycho.\'\' Spinning me around to face him, his eyes rake my body and I feel nothing but disgust.

Khalil laughs in my face and grabs the can on the floor. \'\'This is what you use to defend yourself? He dangles it in my face. \'\'How pathetic.\'\'

With the precision of a javelin thrower, he tosses the can away and I hear it land with a thud somewhere. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes but I hold it in. He will not break me, not today. \'\'Fuck you, Khalil.\'\' I spit.

\'\'That\'s what I\'ve been trying to do, Mel but you won\'t let me tap that ass.\'\'

\'\'And you never will, fucker.\'\' I scream again, this time a whole lot louder than the first and he shakes his head with a sinister smile. \'\'No one will hear you, love. This is my turf and my hood so whatever I say goes. Scream all you want, but no one would pay you any mind. After all, they\'d think you\'re just another cheap slut.\'\' With his eyes raking my body, he motions to my jacket.

\'\'Take it off.\'\' I make no move and he repeats. \'\'Take the fucking jacket off or I\'d slice your neck. Don\'t think I wouldn\'t do it.\'\' In fear, I let the black leather material fall down to the floor and he smiles appreciatively.

\'\'You\'ve always been hot.\'\'

His hands move dangerously close to the button of my white work T-shirt and I struggle against him, but he\'s too strong. My bag slips from my shoulder and on to the floor and I yelp. He kicks it to the side like trash and continues his assault. \'\'I\'ll be very quick, Mel. You just have to promise that you won\'t scream or struggle.\'\' he whispers in my ear and I feel a stray tear roll down my face.

This can\'t be happening to me.

His hands pry open the first button, until he gets to the last button, exposing my camisole. I still continue to struggle but he\'s so strong. \'\'You don\'t have to do this Khalil,\'\' my voice cracks as I try to reason with him. \'\'Just let me go and I swear I won\'t report you.\'\'

\'\'SHUT UP YOU STUPID BITCH AND GET ON YOUR KNEES.\'\' I hesitate and he pushes me to the ground. He unzips his pants until he is only in his boxer shorts and strokes his dick from the fabric. \'\'I want you to be the good little slut that you are and suck it.\'\'

\'\'Like hell I would,\'\' I say, finding my voice. \'\'Fuck you.\'\'

That statement makes him angry and he reaches out to grab my neck, choking me. \'\'Don\'t you realize that your pretty mouth needs to be shut?\'\' I feel the sharp cold metal on my neck and I try to silence my whimpering. \'\'One more word from you and I\'ll slice your throat, got it?"\' I refuse to respond and he latches on to my neck harder. I send a silent prayer to God to help me because I can\'t go down like this. This can\'t be happening right now.

He releases me and I wheeze out, gasping for air. \'\'Am I fucking clear?\'\'

I nod with tears streaming down my face. \'\'That\'s my girl, all tame and mute. Just how I like my women.\'\'

Disgusting pig.

He points to his erection. \'\'See how hard you make me, baby? Only you have that power and now, you\'re going to put your pretty little mouth on it and...\'\'

\'\'Let her go or I\'ll blow your brains out.\'\' a familiar voice calls out.