I didn\'t run for two days. On the third, I angrily pulled on my running clothes and ran until I almost passed out. I pushed again the following morning. It became my daily stress reliever. A week after leaving the hospital, I called Killian\'s mother.

"I tried." I could barely speak because of the sobs built up in my throat.

"I know, dear. Don\'t cry. Killian will snap out of it. He\'s stubborn and doesn\'t want anyone around right now." Weariness was evident in each word Beth spoke.

"Have you seen him?"

"Yes, last night. It wasn\'t pleasant. If not for his injury, I\'d take a two-by-four to his head."

The thought of Killian in pain made me cringe, but her words also helped me gain control of my emotions. "Is someone helping him?"

"Not really. Killian works through these things in his own way and eventually he\'ll come to terms with he isn\'t infallible. Shit happens and it\'s not the end of the world."

I needed to change the subject. Thinking of Killian alone in his large home, in pain, with no one helping him hurt deeply. "How\'s Michael?"

"He\'s aware things are tense right now. You visiting might calm him."

"I would love to."

"Are you available tomorrow night at six?"

"Perfect. What can I bring?"

After we ended our conversation, I called Amanda.

"Can you follow me to Killian\'s so I can drop the Mustang off tomorrow night?"

"Give it more time, Rebecca. The jerk will come around sooner or later."

Amanda called Killian "the jerk" every chance she got. I understood and knew she cared about me, but I loved Killian.

"Amanda," I chided.

"I know, but he is a jerk."

"Will you help me tomorrow night or not?"

"Of course I\'ll help you."

Killian had his own key to the Mustang. I used the remote on the visor and opened the large wrought iron gate at Killian\'s house. I locked the key inside the car along with a brief note. Amanda drove me to Beth\'s and dropped me off.

Seeing Beth and Michael was wonderful and also heartbreaking. We ate dinner, talked about anything non-Killian, and took Michael for a walk after wrapping him tightly in blankets.

"Thank you for having me over, Beth."

"You\'re welcome and you\'re invited any time."

Over Beth\'s objections, I took the bus home. I had to walk half a mile from the bus stop to my apartment, but it felt good, even in the chilly air.

I turned the last corner and saw the Mustang parked on the street. A thrill went through me. It lasted until I saw the note on my door.

Rebecca,

The car is a gift and I\'m NOT returning the gifts you gave to me. I\'ve packed your personal items from my house and secured them in the trunk. This is for the best and eventually, if you haven\'t already, you will understand I am no good for you.

K

Anger squeezed my heart. He was walking away because he fucking got hurt. He wasn\'t going to the Super Bowl, so he no longer needed me.

I found both keys to the Mustang under the front mat. I removed the items from the trunk, mostly clothes, and walked them to the nearest Dumpster. If Killian was present I would have shredded every last piece in front of him. I managed to control myself and not kick the Mustang.

I put the keys in a drawer and decided to forget the car belonged to me, because in my mind, it didn\'t.

After I crawled into bed, my anger turned to tears. Killian punished himself by getting rid of me. The thought just made me cry harder.

I hit the pavement the following morning and increased my time by five minutes. Track was starting soon and it was my last year. I decided to give it everything I had. Over the following weeks, I immersed myself in running and academics.

"Eight minutes under your best time, Cavanaugh," my couch shouted.

I\'d cut my morning run to ten miles because Monday through Friday I was running with the team each afternoon. Our first meet was three weeks away and it was one month post-Killian. Running exorcised my demons, so I gave it everything I had.

The Scorpions had lost the first game of the playoffs the week after Killian was injured. I felt bad for the entire team and had spoken to Malory once over the phone.

"Blitz is impossible to live with. You\'d think they announced the end of the world. The guys had a drink fest at Killian\'s this past weekend and I left early." She stopped talking for a moment. "I\'m sorry, Rebecca. I shouldn\'t mention Killian, but I have no idea what\'s come over the man."

I kept my tone light, though I felt sick to my stomach. "No, you shouldn\'t mention Killian, but I feel bad for the entire team."

"Yeh, so do I. We need to get together and drown our sorrows," she said half-heartedly.

"I\'m in season right now and not drinking. Maybe after I graduate we can get together."

Our phone call ended painfully. Things weren\'t the same, and I was no longer a wife or girlfriend. I really didn\'t belong in Malory\'s world and I knew it.

My first meet approached and I rested two days prior, giving my body a break. I\'d lost weight I couldn\'t afford to lose, but other than a broken heart, I felt in the best shape of my life. Amanda and Lyle took me out to dinner Thursday night and, unfortunately, we ran into my sister.

"Hi, sis. I heard the quarterback dumped you," Candi said out of pure meanness.

Thankfully, Amanda and I occupied a booth and Amanda had the inside seat. I pushed against her when I thought she might fly over me and across the table at my sister. The two of them had never gotten along.

"Yes, Candi, I got dumped. Is there anything else you need?"

Candi\'s face twisted into a sneer. "I saw Killian\'s brother at that game. I bet you were so happy with yourself."

"Why ever would I be happy with myself?"

"You thought I might sink low enough to go out with some tard for money."

This time, Lyle and Amanda held me back while my sister just stood there looking bored.

"Michael MacGregor is entirely too good for you, but if you play your cards right, Killian is available and the two of you deserve each other. I\'d keep my \'tard\' comments to myself, though, because Killian loves Michael."

"You\'re pathetic, sis. Like I\'d take a chance one of my kids would get that gene."

Amanda dropped my arm. "Lyle let her go. Kick her ass, Rebecca. She\'s needed it for years. I don\'t normally believe in violence, but I\'m changing my opinion."

I looked at my friends and they looked back at me. Lyle broke first and then we all started laughing. It felt good and by the look on Candi\'s face, it had the desired effect. She left.

"Are you sure the two of you are related?" Lyle asked.

"I\'ve thought for years that I was adopted. I\'m so much taller than my mom, look nothing like Candi, and usually don\'t have her bitchy disposition. Maybe she was dropped on her head at birth."

Amanda picked up her water glass and proposed a toast. "Here\'s to bitchy sisters, fucked up straight men, and friendship."

We clinked our glasses. "Here, here."

I loved my friends and when all was said and done, I loved my sister. I also felt sorry for her. I didn\'t think she\'d ever truly known love from a man. Though my heart still hurt with Killian\'s loss, I wouldn\'t change anything but the ending of our relationship.

And- I would always love Killian MacGregor.