Tan Liansi teases Xin Hulei about going on a dating show and realizing the dreams of his fans, to which he only answers in a series of disinterested hums.

Yao Shen, however, can\'t stop thinking about it.

The mere idea is hysterical. The mental imagine of a stone-faced Xin Hulei being taken on the kind of \'dates\' the show\'s contestants dream up in order to woo the \'beauty\' is hilarious.

He knows Tan Liansi is trying to provoke him by making him jealous, but she\'ll have to think up  another strategy.

"I think you should go, if the opportunity comes up" Yao Shen interjects, as Tan Liansi waxes poetic about the merits of Xin Hulei tearfully rejecting the contestants who won\'t be moving on. "And I think you should be 100% yourself during the whole thing. I think nothing in the history of television would be as entertaining."

Tan Liansi is obviously taken aback by his suggestion, but Xin Hulei meets Yao Shen\'s eyes above her head with an indulgent half-smile. "I\'ll go if you go."

"Ugh, let\'s keep watching the show," Tan Liansi says, increasing the volume on the remote. "I\'ve only signed up for one kind of dog food, and you two are interrupting it."

Feeling as if he\'s won some kind of battle, Yao Shen magnanimously lets it go, petting Heimao in silence while smirking to himself.

---

Eventually, the show comes to an end. The internet celebrity, whose name Yao Shen can\'t for the life of him remember, ends up picking a nerdy guy, the ugliest of the bunch, but a programmer. Obviously her considerations went beyond appearances, which Yao Shen can\'t decide if it\'s better or worse.

One would think that after she has consumed three packs of corn snacks, and after the show she came specifically to watch is over, that Tan Liansi would leave.

Instead, she lets out a huge yawn, stretches her arms above her head and asks, "Do you guys want to play \'Fight the Landlord\'?"

Today alone, Tan Liansi has managed to show at least five different sides of her personality: she\'s a refined, talented actress, who enjoys trashy reality tv, chewing junk food with her mouth open, and playing card games favoured by middle-aged uncles all over the country.

Truly, a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

In a way, it\'s no surprise she and Xin Hulei get along well.

They\'re both equally puzzling, only in completely opposite ends of the same spectrum.

Which is why Yao Shen makes an executive decision.

"Actually, I should probably go," he yawns himself, mimicking Tan Liansi\'s earlier actions. "Can you take me back to my hotel room?"

"Oh," Xin Hulei says, a subtle note of disappointment tinging his words. "Sure."

Tan Liansi\'s eyes shine victoriously, even as she pouts and waves Yao Shen goodbye. "Bye Bye, see you tomorrow."

Yao Shen returns the gesture over Xin Hulei\'s shoulder, hiding his smirk into Xin Hulei\'s shirt.

---

Everything is the same as Yao Shen left it once he returns to his hotel room.

"Goodnight," Xin Hulei says, stepping away as soon as the flames disappear, ready to return to his apartment.

Yao Shen pulls him by the hand towards his bedroom. "Where do you think you\'re going?"

Xin Hulei opens his mouth, but then realizes what Yao Shen\'s plan was all along. "Tan Liansi is waiting for me."

Yao Shen shrugs. "So? She\'s a big girl, she can keep herself entertained, and if she\'s bored she can always leave."

Xin Hulei lets himself be led, and when the back of Yao Shen\'s knees hits the bed he keeps going until he\'s pushing him backwards into the comforter.

"What a nefarious plan," Xin Hulei says, burying his head in Yao Shen\'s neck, nipping at the skin gently with his teeth. "Such an evil mind deserves punishment."

There\'s something endearing about Xin Hulei saying something so silly with such a serious face. Yao Shen scoots up the bed and pulls Xin Hulei on top of him by the collar of his shirt, to distract himself from the fondness blooming in his chest.

This is a mutual beneficial exchange, nothing more, he tries to remind himself.

"You\'re the one who deserves punishment," he says, pulling Xin Hulei\'s shirt over his head, now that he has him where he wants him. "Letting Tan Liansi just barge in like that, ruining our plans..."

Xin Hulei helps by getting his shirt off the rest of the way. "Your plans you mean?"

The sight of Xin Hulei\'s naked torso is momentarily distracting. It takes Yao Shen a while to refocus on the issue at hand.

He remember suddenly that they haven\'t even kissed which is a travesty that needs addressing immediately.

Looping one arm around Xin Hulei\'s neck he pulls him down fully on top of him. Yao Shen kisses him artlessly, hungrily, still getting used to the difference between kissing a girl and a guy. Xin Hulei opens his mouth wider, tries to take more at once, makes Yao Shen scramble to keep up with his demands.

The heat leaves Yao Shen breathless. He runs his hands down Xin Hulei\'s chest, feeling a thin film of perspiration under his fingers.

He hasn\'t turned the AC on and the room feels warm, as if the humid spring night is closing in around them and trying to seep into the room.

For a wild moment, Yao Shen thinks how great it would be to open the windows and let the heat truly in. Maybe even this high up they would still be able to ear the cicadas\' song.

Xin Hulei divests him of his own thin tank top, and Yao Shen\'s blood runs hotter under his skin.

"What do you want?" Xin Hulei asks, the words ghosting over Yao Shen\'s wet lips.

It\'s like the question blows the wind out of Yao Shen\'s sails. He doesn\'t have the words to convey what he wants exactly.

He wants to fuck, that much is obvious -- but there\'s more to it, too.

"Wait, let me grab my phone and I\'ll show you my spreadsheet."

Yao Shen squirms from under Xin Hulei, who lifts off him with an amused chuckle. He\'s rummaging in his side table, when a sudden flash from the bathroom catches his attention.

In the gloom, in the half open doorway stands the ghoul. His jagged teeth glint in the darkness, illuminating his sinister eyes.

Yao Shen scrambles up the bed in a panic, slamming into Xin Hulei\'s shoulder by accident.

"What is it?" Xin Hulei asks him, steadying him with a gentle hand on the small of his back.

When Yao Shen next looks towards the bathroom, the ghoul is no longer there.

"Maybe this isn\'t a good idea," Yao Shen says, jumping out of the bed, his heart racing. "We can talk some more tomorrow."

Xin Hulei looks puzzled by his sudden change of mood but doesn\'t question him, getting out of bed and putting his shirt back on.

Yao Shen can\'t help chancing worried glances towards the bathroom, afraid of the ghoul reappearing.

"I\'m off then," Xin Hulei says, following Yao Shen\'s gaze and finding nothing of note. He frowns. "Is everything okay?"

Yao Shen raises himself on his tiptoes and drops a quick peck on his lips.

"Everything is fine."

His chest constricts painfully while he watches Xin Hulei\'s confused face disappear in a flurry of flames.

The worry doesn\'t abate with him gone, but he\'s relieved that Xin Hulei is back safe in his apartment, where the ghoul and the ghost kings hopefully can\'t reach him.

Yao Shen crawls back into bed and hides himself under the covers, like a child.

He\'s been very foolish, to think he could easily play the kingdoms of Chu and Qin and nothing would come of it.

Sooner or later there would be consequences.

The truth is that he doesn\'t want to do anything to hurt Xin Hulei. He has no interest in helping any of those people who are apparently responsible for several of his deaths, and for the time being, he hasn\'t seen any proof that Xin Hulei\'s presence in the mortal realm puts it in any kind of danger.

[Host just needs to send him back to the demon realm-]

Yao Shen cuts the system off, "Was it you? Did you warn them?"

[This System doesn\'t have those abilities.]

"Who are you even? You\'re not some A.I." Yao Shen is suddenly reminded of the terrible gu insect the Ghost King gave him to implant on Xin Hulei and that is currently stashed far away from his sight in a bottom drawer.

Who is to say the \'system\' is not the result of something similar being implanted on him?

[That\'s preposterous, I-]

"If you don\'t have anything useful to say, shut up."

The system falls silent.

Yao Shen curls up into his sheets, making himself smaller, like a prey animal trying to become a smaller target. He\'s afraid of the ghoul showing up at any moment and dragging him back to the underworld.

He stays up the entire night, unable to fall asleep with the image of that jagged smile burned into his mind.