Chapter 441: The hidden feelings

Nana froze on hearing Pei Yuan’s words. She looked at him cautiously. As she expected, Pei Yuan had really called her here to confess his love.

The woman I love…

She cleared her throat while she fidgeted with her dress. “W-what are you saying, Pei Yuan? I don’t understand.”

Pei Yuan smiled. “You heard it right, Nana. The woman I love is you. This is the important thing I wanted to tell you for which I asked you to come here. Not only I wanted to confess to you but also reveal the ugly side of your family.”

“Pei Yuan!” Nana raised her voice. “Please mind your boundaries! Don’t forget that I am married to Jinhai.”

“That marriage doesn’t matter at all!”

Nana was dumbfounded. She looked at him, unblinkingly in a daze.

“What do you mean doesn’t matter!? It matters to me.”

Pei Yuan shook his head. “Don’t lie to yourself, Nana. I know you are not happy with Jinhai. I know you don’t want to live with him. He is forcing you to be with him.”

“Huh? No, it is not true. He is not forcing me to live with him. What gave you that idea?”

Pei Yuan looked at her in surprise. “Nana, so you mean to say you love him?”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you do not!” Pei Yuan was getting agitated. “How can a kind woman like you love a monster like him? Don’t you know how pathetic and dangerous he is!”

Nana had no idea that he convinced himself to believe that she didn’t love Jinhai.

“Pei Yuan.” She took a deep breath. “I understand your feelings for me. I feel bad for you, but I cannot return your feelings. Please don’t waste your precious feelings on me. I am married. I love my husband and children. There is no place for you or any other man in my heart.”

Pei Yuan suddenly banged his fist on the wall, and Nana stepped back, startled.

“Have you forgotten how Jinhai forced you to marry him? How he trapped you into…” his jaw clenched in a mad rage, “…sleeping with him. He forcefully made you pregnant so that he marries you! I know you never wanted to marry him.”

Nana widened her eyes. “That was because Jinhai was already married to Huian. How can I be a homewrecker and destroy their marriage? I had feelings for him since long back, but I couldn’t do anything. I was helpless because he was married, and I was engaged to Jianyu. So, I stepped back. Yes, I admit Jinhai’s methods to break my engagement and make me marry him were truly cruel, but I have already let go of it.”

Pei Yuan was stunned. “How much will you fool yourself? I know Jinhai doesn’t keep you happy. When you left him, he followed you to work in Natsukashi. He didn’t let you go at all!”

Nana stared at him in disbelief. “That was him trying to solve the differences between us. Yes, he followed me to Natsukashi, but if I had really told him that I don’t want to see him, then he would have backed off.”

“Ha! But he didn’t after the incident in the banquet when Tang Ning attacked you. How did you agree to go back with him at that time? Weren’t you furious at him for doing all those things to Suyin? Didn’t you wish never to see his face? But you were ready to go back? Why?”

Nana kept quiet.

“It was because he threatened you with Jian and Nian’s custody! He forced you to come back with him, or else he wouldn’t let you meet your sons ever. He will take them with him, and if you want to live with them, you have to go back to Liu villa. Isn’t that right?”

Nana couldn’t retort that she indeed was angry at Jinhai for doing that, but somewhere or the other, she under his reason.

“Nana. That’s why I am confessing my love to you. He is not right for you. Jinhai can never keep you happy! But I can! I will never treat you like Jinhai did. I will do everything you want. I will give you everything you want.” Pei Yuan’s gaze brightened as he expected her to agree.

Nana sighed and felt a headache coming. “Look. Pei Yuan. I am not saying that Jinhai is perfect. He had made some serious mistakes. He has made me disappointed at times.”

“So Nana-“

But she raised her hand, stopping him from speaking further.

“But that will not change my feelings for him. My feelings are not that fickle to sway that easily just because he made some mistakes. However he is with his good and bad sides both; I love him with all my heart. I cannot say that I hate him because of all the things he did. Yes, I was mad at him at one point, but I cannot stop loving him.”

Pei Yuan laughed. “Even though he is from the underworld? Even though he does the things that you hate?”

Nana frowned. “I admit that I am not in favor of his methods, but none of it is enough to make me stop loving him.”

Pei Yuan said in frustration. “Nana, can you not see that Liu Jinhai isn’t even the CEO of Liu Corps anymore? He is nothing now! Liu Corps is facing losses in business, and it’s time that it would completely go bankrupt! Do you want to live with a man who cannot even provide for you!”

Nana smiled. “I didn’t marry him for his money or his position anyway. I don’t mind if he isn’t the CEO anymore of his business empire. I just want him to be my Jinhai. That’s it. I don’t care about the other tags on his name. And if worst comes to worst and he does become poor, then I would support him. We can live in Natsukashi. And I know that Jinhai wouldn’t mind that life either.”

Seeing Nana smiling at Jinhai’s mention made his blood boil in anger. He did everything to make her hate him. He brought his ugly truth in front of her. He made him lose his position in the company. His reputation has been ruined.

So why? Why does Nana still want to live with him?

He gritted his teeth. “It is impossible! Jinhai forced you to say all this, right?”

“Nobody is forcing me to say anything. I am saying what I feel, not what anybody has told me to.”

“Lies! All lies! Do you want to be with a man who supported his father in killing an innocent woman?” His eyes reddened, thinking about his mother.

Nana pursed her lips. “Pei Yuan. I already said that your mother took the decision to end her life. Dad or Jinhai have got nothing to do with it. They might not even know that there was another woman in Hua Bolin’s life. Why would they drive her to suicide if they didn’t even know her existence? It’s that…you just need somebody to put the blame on for your mother’s death. You cannot accept that she left you, knowing how small you were. So, you need someone to pin the cause of her death.”

Pei Yuan stiffened.

“If you know what happened to Hua Bolin, then you must also know that he kidnapped my mother-in-law when his company went bankrupt because Dad won the deal. He hurt Mom, and so Dad killed him for threatening him with his wife. That was their underworld rule.”

Nana finally remembered why she felt the story was so familiar. Jinhai had said it to her once.

“You must have also realized that your father shouldn’t have kidnapped Mom and hurt her. What happened to him was his own fault. And even if Dad had known about your mother’s existence, even then, he would have done the same thing. Your mother’s feelings wouldn’t have made him change his decision.”

Pei Yuan looked at her in a daze. He didn’t want to hear her speaking anymore.

Nana said, “Your need for revenge has no base. Nobody forced your mother to end her life. At least for your sake, she should have held on to her life. For the sake of her son, who she loved so much, she should have tried to face her grief.”

Then she stared at him and slowly said, “Actually…somewhere unconsciously, you blame your mother for leaving you, right?”

Pei Yuan froze.

“She should have realized that your father used her, but she didn’t. She hopelessly kept on loving him that gave her nothing but sadness. You wanted her to forget him, but she was stubborn in her feelings…so much so that she left the world for his sake. You are angry at your mother that she ended her life and left you alone. But she is no more now. You don’t want to be angry with her. You love her too much to blame her. So, you are trying to find somebody else to take responsibility.”